Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Randomize
