Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
Randomize