Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
Randomize
