Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
i kind of just want to tell my cleaning lady I'm an alcoholic so it's not awkward when I stumble out of my room to go sit in my car for 2 hours and wait for her to finish cleaning the several empty bottles of wine in my room
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
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