i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
Randomize
