...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
Well I left you a voicemail but you probably won't be able to hear it because my mic is fucked up. I think you need to come down here and take it in for me.
I hate this phone so bad I'm going to lose all of my friends because of it
Yeah...you probably will...
well, you're marked off my christmas card list for next year.
i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
Who put my cat in the fridge?
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
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