A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
I'm gonna write a song for the kids called "you're systematically killing your mother". In it I will explain that my recent hypertension and increase in smoking is due to them being dicks
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
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