Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
Randomize
