just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
Randomize
