i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
Randomize
