Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
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