im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
Randomize
