I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
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