help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
Boobs speak an international language.
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
Randomize
