If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
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