Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
Randomize
