So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
Apparently last night I sat at the bar with an upside down sharpie lightning bolt on my forehead, yelling "It's Harry Potter's birthday! Let me be on the qudditch team!" And I kept calling the bartender Dobby. There are videos.
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
Randomize
