i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
Randomize
