I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
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