i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
I need to align my fucking chakras
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