I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
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