She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
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