He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
Randomize
