I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
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Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
Randomize
