I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
He turned down a handjob. A HANDJOB. I know I'm no Jessica Simpson, but...
Actually, she's fat now, so...
Fuck. I AM Jessica Simpson.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
Randomize
