literally had 100 drinks last night.
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
Randomize
