I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
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