I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
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