"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
Randomize
