Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
Randomize