when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
i think i just naturally attract stoners
Randomize
