oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
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