Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
Randomize