I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
Randomize
