what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
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