He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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