Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
wtf are you talking about? You vomit-splattered the cop from the balcony. The cop YOU called because you drunk-dialed 911 because a 5 year old ate the last donut.
it was a krispy kreme
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
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