Kiss
Puke
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
Randomize
