She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
Top reasons to NOT leave jessica to her own devices : 1. Drinking becomes a competitive sport ( in which she is the only one competing) 2.big girl words= no worky 3. Whiskey refuses to be a good friend (as much as she insists ). 4. Waking up at six a.m. still in her swim suit is super awkward. 5. It isn't a fun game to figure out which person she gave her number to and 6. Yesterdays eyeliner doesn't look good today.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Randomize
