Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
Randomize
