seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
Randomize
