Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
Kristen just told everyone at the bar that I've got a huge dick, now Brittany is giving me the eye. What is the opposite of FML?
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
