3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
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