Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
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