I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
Randomize
