Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
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