Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
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