I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
Randomize