remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
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