is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
how do you play pong handcuffed?
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Randomize
