If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
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