even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
Can I color on your dick again?
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
Randomize
