OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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