New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
Randomize
