i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
