I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
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