She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
Randomize
