My brain says no but my pants say off.
I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
Randomize
