hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
Randomize
