it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
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