My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
I don't want my vagina anymore.
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Randomize
