Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
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